It's not that there hasn't been the usual run of mental health news to fret about this week; there has. But I have been deep in thought about later life and what it means for us and how we respond to it. Midlife has gotten lots of press. Midlife crisis is so widely known it is all but a cliche. As with many life issues, as the Baby Boomers turned 40, we began to write about midlife. And as we Boomer women reached menopause, we began to write about it. And now, we , those of us like me on the leading edge of our generation, have moved firmly into what is the last quarter of life. And apart from a lot of articles about how to live to be really old and pieces about retirement, there doesn't seem to be much yet about entering the last chapters.
Some of us may live longer, but this period, from 60-85, seems to be the place of late life issues.
Let's look again at this quote from Jung that I included in my last post:
In the secret hour of life's midday the parabola is reversed, death is born. The second half of life does not signify ascent, unfolding, increase, exuberance, but death, since the end is its goal. The negation of life's fulfillment is synonymous with the refusal to accept its ending. Both mean not wanting to live, and not wanting to live is identical with not wanting to die. Waxing and Waning make one curve.
The goal of all life, the end point, death is what lies in front of us all. And in this last quarter, it looms larger than it has before and is much more a part of consciousness. To be fully alive is to know that death lies ahead.
Between here and death, there is a lot of territory. Work to be done to deal with things left undone, to reconcile ourselves to our past, to seriously consider the story we have been living with an eye especially toward any changes we want to make in the remaining years.
A friend of mine, a woman in her mid-70's, mentioned last week that she wishes she could read about this life period as she could about midlife. The issues of midlife are not hers. She wrestles with the conflict between the desire to do and the body that no longer wants to. With the bubbling up of creative possibilities that she does not know she can bring to fruition. She is a bit further down the road than I am, but she raises issues I am already aware of -- of having to prioritize in a new way, to come to terms with the certain knowledge that if there is something I want to do, want to create, I have to get down to work now because time is passing swiftly.
And how to wrestle with these issues without succumbing to despair or melancholy and regret is a major concern. What does it mean to become old? How to come to terms with a body, a face that is not the face or body I carry in my mind's eye of myself? Finding a new rhythm. Finding people willing to wrestle with me. These are the issues is see right off. Issues I plan to explore for myself and for my work in the weeks and months ahead.