A reader emailed me with a question about therapist self-disclosure because she had become uncomfortable when her therapist disclosed a personal story from her life. Her question was about what to do, which of course, I could not say. I did suggest that she raise the issue with the therapist and see where they could take it.
I have been thinking about this today. I have had personal experience with therapists who disclosed nothing about themselves beyond indicating, by the wearing of a ring, that they were married. And I have had experience with therapists who revealed entirely too much about themselves. The blank slate therapist can seem cold, aloof and remote. The very disclosing therapist can seem to be making himself too much the focus of the work. So what is the right level? I come back again the importance of getting enough experience to develop a good feel for what is right, and for getting really good clinical supervision, especially around tricky issues like this.